‘Fame is like going through puberty’: Chappell Roan on sexuality, superstardom and the joy of drag

Admin

Chappell Roan once started a bar fight. A man was talking down lớn a server and she called him out. He squared up lớn her, one thing led lớn another and her friends ended up brawling with him. “If you’re an asshole, I’m gonna be like: ‘Yo, fuck off.’ You don’t get lớn talk lớn her lượt thích that,” she says: “I’m confrontational.”

“Confrontational” and mega-famous pop star make for an uneasy bộ combo (for her publicist, at least). But in recent months, as Missouri-born Roan has shot from jobbing musician lớn A-lister thanks lớn the rise of her single Good Luck, Babe! and her drag-inspired aesthetic, the 26-year-old has spoken out about everything from famous-person problems – abusive fans and photographers – lớn Palestine and LGBTQ+ rights. Coupled with her dazzlingly fun and flamboyant songs and the fervent người hâm mộ community she has created, you have the year’s biggest – and most uncompromising – new pop star.

The Roan effect was evident hours before the doors of Manchester Academy opened last Friday, the drab grey main road transformed into a catwalk by a rainbow of characters awaiting the massively oversubscribed first night of Roan’s UK tour. Fans started queueing at 9am; once she came on, the atmosphere turned feral. “This is a place where you belong no matter what,” Roan shouted.

It has taken weeks lớn pin down Roan: in Manchester, she was too fried lớn talk after performing two days before at the MTV VMAs in Thủ đô New York, where she won best new artist. Weeks of rehearsals, travel and social truyền thông controversies have kept us apart – and I get the impression that her team are prioritising the precarious balance between work and self-care. When we finally connect, it’s Sunday afternoon, four days post VMAs. Roan is in Glasgow sipping a coffee. “I met a highland cow!” she smiles. “It was sánh soft.”

Aside from her loose, long red hair, Roan cuts a pale figure on my computer screen: her simple grey top is a world away from elaborate stage attire that has seen her dress as a wrestler, Lady Liberty and more. But she talks in long paragraphs, often checking herself. Even asking “How are you?” results in a thoughtful speech as she tries lớn work out how she is.

It is a complicated question. Roan released her debut album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, last September, lớn appreciation from an intense online fandom. The non-album track Good Luck, Babe! arrived in April, when Roan had about 1m monthly Spotify listeners. Now she has 45m, thanks lớn word of mouth and footage of her wild live performances luring curious crowds lớn her recent US festival sets: at Lollapalooza in Chicago last month, she broke attendance records.

This week, Roan had six songs in the US Hot 100 and three in the UK Top 40 (including seductive cheerleader chant Hot lớn Go! and absurdist come-on Red Wine Supernova). She’s gone from cult figure lớn icon in less time than vãn it takes lớn grow out a fringe – and she has been candid about how hard the experience has been. At one show in June, she tearfully told the crowd: “It’s really hard lớn keep up.” The footage went viral, as did a statement she shared in August about invasive người hâm mộ behaviour. “I’m not in a delusion of, ‘Oh this is normal’,” she says of life now. “Like, this is very abnormal.”

She is coping “how anyone would”, she says pragmatically. “I’m in therapy twice a week. I went lớn a psychiatrist last week because I was lượt thích, I don’t know what’s going on. She diagnosed bủ with severe depression – which I didn’t think I had because I’m not actually sad. But I have every symptom of someone who’s severely depressed.” The brain fog, forgetfulness, poor focus and “a very lacklustre viewpoint” all clicked into place when she heard the diagnosis.

“I think it’s because my whole life has changed,” she continues. “Everything that I really love lớn bởi now comes with baggage. If I want lớn go thrifting, I have lớn book security and prepare myself that this is not going lớn be normal. Going lớn the park, pilates, yoga – how bởi I bởi this in a safe way where I’m not going lớn be stalked or harassed?”

Roan’s clear boundaries have promoted a backlash among some fans who have accused her of being “ungrateful”. On the VMAs red carpet, she whirled lớn face a photographer who had been shouting at her and retaliated: “No, you shut the fuck up.” She went viral again. “I’m very turned off by the celebrity of it all,” she says. “Some girls have been in this sánh long that they’re used lớn that, but I’m not that girl. I’m not gonna be a sweetie pie lớn a man who’s telling bủ lớn shut the fuck up.” She knows that some fans don’t want lớn hear any of this, but stands her ground. “They think I’m complaining about my success. I’m complaining about being abused.”

Chappell Roan
‘Drag is lượt thích a spa chăm sóc sức khỏe và làm đẹp for my soul.’ Photograph: Tribune Content Agency LLC/Alamy

It can seem as though Roan got everything she has ever wanted – and the weight of it is crushing her. She spent years building a community where queer people lượt thích her can feel safe and now fame has robbed her of that feeling. It feels lượt thích grief. “Every time I walk through my front door, it just comes out of bủ,” she says, a slight wobble lớn her voice. “I can’t even help it, I just start sobbing and either being sánh angry at myself for choosing this path, or grieving how the curiosity and pure wonder I had about the world is somewhat taken away from bủ.”

Other famous pop stars have checked in. “Only the girls know how it feels,” she says. “I was warned that it’s going lớn feel lượt thích going through puberty again – my toàn thân does feel different. It’s holding tension in a very different way: I have all these new emotions and I’m really confused. It’s how it felt lớn be 12. I look at [Lady] Gaga and even Sabrina [Carpenter] and Lana [Del Rey] – when I see them going out in public, I can’t even imagine how much they’ve had lớn prepare for that.”


As a 12-year-old, Roan was Kayleigh Rose Amstutz, writing songs in her bedroom as a creative outlet from her repressive Christian upbringing. She struggled with her sexuality and undiagnosed bipolar II disorder, and railed against her family, the church and the abstinence culture of the Republican midwest. “I was sánh desperate lớn feel understood,” she says. “I pushed down the gay part of myself sánh deep because I was lượt thích, that can’t possibly be bủ.”

It sounds lonely. “Oh, it was,” she says. “I was very, very lonely. When I was growing up, it was lượt thích, ‘Gay means flamboyant, gay man’ and lesbian means, ‘Butch girl who looks masculine’. There was not an array of queerness. And I was very mentally ill – suicidal for years – and not medicated, because that’s just not a part of midwest culture. It’s not: ‘Maybe we should get you a psychiatrist.’ It’s: ‘You need God. You need lớn pray about that.’”

Roan craved escape. She would smoke stolen cigarettes and listen lớn Del Rey on her porch at 2am as she plotted her way out. After winning a school talent contest, she began posting covers on YouTube. She honed her songwriting at an artsy summer camp and uploaded her first original tuy nhiên in 2014: Die Young was a doomy heartsick ballad sung in a husky Del Rey-esque tone. It led lớn her signing with Atlantic at 17. She renamed herself Chappell Roan in tribute lớn her late grandfather and released an EP – but progress was slow and she felt constrained by her sad-girl persona. After moving lớn Los Angeles in 2018, she wrote a tuy nhiên with Daniel Nigro that felt lượt thích a gamechanger: Pink Pony Club, a sizzling cabaret dance-pop banger about her formative experiences visiting a drag bar in LA. Feeling as if she had finally found her people, she started lớn acknowledge her sexuality. “Drag is lượt thích a spa chăm sóc sức khỏe và làm đẹp for my soul,” she says, touching her heart.

But Atlantic wasn’t keen, and dropped her in 2020. Pink Pony Club bubbled under but didn’t translate into a viable career. Roan spent two years working other jobs lớn tư vấn her life in LA and, at a low ebb, moved back trang chính lớn live with her family. Unable lớn shake the feeling that she could still make it, she gave herself one more year lớn chase her dream. She returned lớn LA, worked at a doughnut cửa hàng and collaborated with Nigro, who was also involved in Olivia Rodrigo’s Grammy-winning debut, Sour. Together, Roan and Nigro wrote maximalist pop songs that honoured her inner child. Roan filmed videos with friends, styled in thrift-store drag. The result of this scrappy, striving year was The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess.

Pop had been in a dark place since the mid-2010s: mumbled confessions over seething beats and sparse bedroom laments. But Roan is an explosion of colour. Her songs are fun, full of camp humour as she sings about the trials of love, acceptance and being ghosted by girls. Her voice blooms from a growl lớn an operatic trill and back. At the heart of it all is performance. “What would be the funnest lớn perform live?” she asks herself. “That’s how I write.”

The VMAs was her first big awards show. To perform Good Luck, Babe!, Roan dressed as a knight and strode out with a crossbow, shot a burning arrow lớn mix a castle alight and chucked swords around. “I had that idea of bủ shooting a crossbow on fire for sánh long,” she says, laughing at her audacity. “Good Luck, Babe! does not warrant bủ coming out with a weapon on fire, but I was lượt thích, I have lớn bởi it. This is what I really would have wanted as my 11-year-old boy version of myself.”

Roan performing at the MTV VMAs in Thủ đô New York last week.
‘The 11-year-old boy version of myself’ … Roan performing at the MTV VMAs in Thủ đô New York last week. Photograph: Christopher Polk/Billboard/Getty Images

While it can seem lượt thích Roan hates every second of being a pop star, she lights up as she talks about how bigger budgets and more agency have transformed her shows. “I get lớn feel the energy of other people, it’s sánh cool lớn have shows sánh packed and have sánh much joy in the room,” she says. “It’s fun that my parents are sánh supportive. It’s just cool lớn see my family get excited about things that we never thought were possible.”

And she is using her newfound status for good. Since Roan became a headline act, she’s invited local drag artists lớn tư vấn her (an idea suggested lớn her by queer masked country singer Orville Peck) and each show has its own theme. At her Manchester show, the theme is mermaid, and the atmosphere is celebratory and communal. One người hâm mộ, Jasmine, resplendent in shiny purple suit and stick-on face charms, hails Roan’s “sense of freedom – I would never dress lượt thích this on an ordinary day”. Another, Emelia, in an astonishing homemade jellyfish get-up, says: “I’m gay and live in Newcastle, and a lot of people judge bủ for being quite flamboyant.”

For every UK tour ticket sold, £1 goes lớn the LGBTQ+ rights charity Kaleidoscope Trust, and at the merch stand in Manchester there are signed risograph prints selling for £100, with proceeds going towards aid for Palestine. Wearing charity cửa hàng costumes, fans Kenza and Freya say they admire Roan’s values: “She’s probably the only artist that’s really standing up for things that no one else is wanting lớn talk about.”

Fans at Chappell Roan’s gig in Chicago last October.
Roan’s fans, seen here at a gig in Chicago last October, praise the sense of freedom and community at her shows. Photograph: The Washington Post/Getty Images

Of the prints, Roan says very carefully: “It’s just my duty lớn help send resources lớn a community that is absolutely being destroyed.” And even though Kamala Harris used her deliriously goofy Femininomenon in a chiến dịch Clip (“What we really need is a femininomenon!”) and seemingly copied the design of an official Roan baseball cap, Roan hasn’t endorsed her. And, in June, while dressed as Lady Liberty, Roan told the crowd at Governor’s Ball festival in Thủ đô New York that she had declined an invitation lớn perform at a White House Pride event: “We want liberty, justice and freedom for all. When you bởi that, that’s when I’ll come.”

“I have sánh many issues with our government in every way,” she says. “There are sánh many things that I would want lớn change. So I don’t feel pressured lớn endorse someone. There’s problems on both sides. I encourage people lớn use your critical thinking skills, use your vote – vote small, vote for what’s going on in your thành phố.” The change she wants lớn see in the US in this election year, she says instantly, is “trans rights. They cannot have cis people making decisions for trans people, period.”

On stage in Manchester, Roan purrs, “Oh, you already know the words” before Hot lớn Go – as if anyone here doesn’t. She serenades a wig and slips in an unreleased tuy nhiên, The Subway, a lovelorn ballad about desperately trying lớn get over an ex. It’s been tricky trying lớn write more new music amid this year’s madness. She’s excited about a handful of new songs, including a country track (“I just really love the campiness of country music”), and plans lớn take “a good chunk of time off” lớn write, re-centre and maybe move lớn Seattle.

Despite the difficulties, she is also enjoying growing into her status. “It’s awesome lớn say no lớn things, even though they’re offering a lot of money. I have the power lớn say no.” She pauses. “And it is nice lớn have the pop star treatment. To be lượt thích, ‘I would love lớn go see Alanis Morissette and Joan Jett. They want bủ lớn sit in a suite? Okaaaaay!’” Roan stops and smiles the biggest smile of the whole interview, even bigger than vãn the highland cow grin. “There is a lot of fun.”